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starless_skycontinued from here
Normally weddings were boring for Noctis. Too many people. Too much attention. He wasn't the target audience for weddings. He was a great dancer but he didn't like to show it in public, he didn't like schmoozing with people he barely knew, didn't like being held hostage by someone's grandma asking when he's getting married. This time he'd have to vehemently insist he may not ever get married. After this whole thing with Mr.Poindexter, Noct was pretty sure he never wanted to marry at all.
He'd told his friends after they noticed his paranoia. It had been horrible explaining it and they tried to support him but it just wasn't adding up. In the eyes of society Dex did nothing wrong. Noct tried to explain that is exactly the point, that Dex was acting in a way that seemed innocent to make him sound crazy. Who breaks into someone's apartment to steal things only to return them later? And not only return them but to talk to him and stay over and fuck him? Noctis couldn't even call it rape out loud. He always submitted. In those moments with Dex he wanted it the same as he wanted it at the hotel. He never went to the police or a doctor after... though he started birth control.
He started birth control! For the guy raping him! For his stalker! He said it was for himself but... he just... wasn't ready for that and if anything happened. If he got pregnant, Dex would never leave.
His friends found all this charming. What a dashing guy! What a rogue! 'He must really love you Noct! He must be smitten! We're so jealous!'
No matter how he tried to explain it was messed up to break into someone's house, because he never gave Dex his address let alone a key, his friends didn't see it as weird. It was just how alphas were when they wanted someone. So many omegas would give anything to be pursued like that. Isn't he grateful? Doesn't he see how LUCKY he is?? Noct tried to tell them this wasn't a fairytale but it fell on deaf ears.
"When are you going to bring him around? When are we gonna meet this guy?"
"My stalker? Never hopefully."
"UGH. Noct. You do NOT have a stalker. You have a boyfriend. Stop being disrespectful."
"Disrespectful??"
"How do you think he'd feel if he knew you were calling him that behind his back? Alphas value respect from their omegas. You're new to this so maybe you don't know but you have to learn how to talk about and around him. It could get you in trouble."
It was concluded that Noct was simply new to dating and given his general aloofness, he was not adapting well to having a partner. So they gave him grace about it. Grace! They gave HIM grace! They gave him advice about 'how to talk to alphas' and how alphas expect a certain deference from their partners and 'how to be an empowered omega while also being a trad wife omega'. It was gross. He felt gross. He needed better friends.
But his friends were good people... they wouldn't ALL think that, right?
So he was anxious about getting through today without being asked why he didn't bring a plus one. He was here at the venue all dolled up in his suit and his hair gelled just so. He looked good and he was loitering the grounds trying to find a place to be alone. It was gorgeous. This wedding was held at the botanical gardens with the main building rented out for the reception. It had luxurious lounge rooms, a dining hall, a kitchen, and a second floor where the bridal party were cloistered. Outside people were milling about, drinking already. The weather was perfect for a wedding so people were chatty.
Relatives and friends were arriving in greater abundance. More and more people were shuffling about, bored, looking for conversation. Noct ducked around a corner before he could be spotted and pretended to be admiring some climbing roses. He just had to make it to the ceremony and no one would talk to him and then he could feign intoxication until it was polite to leave.
And hopefully Dex wasn't in his apartment right now re-appropriating his stuff.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-20 08:17 pm (UTC)Noct blinked at the comment about justice. Justice? Dex cared about that in a cherry-picky way. Where was Noct's justice for Dex raping him? Where was his justice for being stalked? It would never come. "The chance for justice for us left a long time ago. He... hurt us before. He was someone my dad trusted and he almost crippled me as a kid. I didn't put it together until after Dad died but that was him too." he never talked about this and maybe Dex didn't want to know. They were having a big Dex tell-all which he thought was more important. He may never get this chance again. If Dex didn't think he was serious or was mocking him, he may even be punished for this conversation.
Yet Dex was sweet. He touched their foreheads together and dammit he was weak to that. He didn't know what to say. Was Dex showing Noct he had the potential to be an influence as big as Dr. Mercer? Maybe? "Better me than someone else who would have turned you in." which isn't a compliment to himself. Dex could really pick 'em apparently.
"It is sad." It went against his nature. As much as Noctis tried to play it like he was chill and aloof, he was deeply nurturing. Dex must have noticed how Noctis adores animals, that he goes out of his way to feed stray cats. He babies them, and heaven forbid if he sees a human infant, he gets in his Omega immediately. Dex has gotten laid more than once because Noct was receptive to him after seeing a baby in public. The mistreatment of a child offends him.
"Is it a relief of sorts that they aren't still hurting you? Along with a sadness they aren't here?"
He tilted his head smiling. "You played baseball? Hah, nevermind, stupid question. It makes sense. I bet you were amazing." Noct wasn't a sports guy but maybe he could encourage Dex to channel his feelings into baseball if he could. They could go to batting cages at least. He could see Bullseye's skills in the flesh. Wait, he was planning a date. Fuuuuck what was his problem?
"Lung cancer is a terrible way to go, I'm sorry Dex. That must have been devastating." and hearing about the mishandling of Dex's case was not exactly surprising. The system was made of people and people made mistakes and choices that broke the law. Sometimes for personal gain. Sometimes... well Noct could only take Dex at his word but he believed him. "It sounds like she trusted you to make a life for yourself. She wanted you to have a chance." easier for her to do that knowing she wouldn't be alive to reap any consequences but still. She could have easily condemned Dex to institutionalization with the same comfort of never facing his resentment.
Talking about this was soothing something in Noct. It was doing everything for his Omega brain. Being connected to the real Dex made him feel powerful and also more protective of him.
It surprised him Dex worried about his kids being like him. He didn't want this life for them? He didn't think he was an ideal human? Sadly that won Dex a lot of points in Noct's book. Somehow it validates his terror over their time together.
Dex was dedicated and consistent enough he could be a decent father. Did Noct want to be the mother? Not really but it was likely. He wanted children and Dex made sure he was the only option. He felt a new desire to referee these future kids and make sure they turned out okay. Dex could't do this alone. They'd need a loving mother to protect them from the world's judgment and help them blend in. It would be like walking on a knife edge but it felt less like a prison sentence and more like a voluntary duty.
He'd look into raising psychopath children. It had to be possible. Right? God, he was really adopting this life. Shit. He looked at Dex a long moment and then rose up to try to touch foreheads with him.
"I believe you could. I know you could."
no subject
Date: 2026-03-21 05:34 am (UTC)"That just makes me think you deserve justice even more," Dex said, cupping the side of Noctis's face. No one was allowed to hurt his mate that way. Anyone who did had automatically already forfeited their life. Dex was determined to find a way to even the scales, to make sure this unknown man paid for what he'd done to Noctis and his father.
"Why haven't you ever turned me in?" Maybe it was a bad idea to ask, for it might end up being the impetus that Noctis needed to finally contact the police or the AVTF. "You know I'm the number one most wanted criminal in this city. Tip off the police and I could be out of your hair for good." But he needed to know why Noctis just let the status quo remain between them, Dex always allowed back into his home.
"I get it. My feelings about them are complicated even now all these years later. Sometimes I hate the fact I got so little time with them and still miss them like crazy. But sometimes I wonder if I would have turned into a worse person being parented by them, that it would have turned into some sort of toxic or abusive situation that I never could have gotten away from." Really, it depended on Dex's mood that day and how much he wanted to feel sorry for himself.
Dex smiled a little, recalling fond memories from when he was a kid. "Yeah, I was. I was a pitcher in Little League. It was the first place I learned how to throw things so accurately. Could have gone pro if I really wanted to and made millions of dollars by now but there was no challenge in that for me. I would have gotten really bored pitching no-hitters all the time."
Dex speared another piece of egg to eat before he went on. "It was. The day she told me it was a terminal diagnosis I left and went back to my room and went berserk wrecking it because I was so upset." Even as a teenager, Dex had no healthy outlet for his anger. The only way he could express it was through lashing out in violent means. "She had a lot of faith in me. Not entirely misplaced but...." He sighed, eyes faraway again. "In the end, I failed her." He'd thrown away all of Dr. Mercer's lessons and done just what he wanted to, falling to the darkness that lay inside his soul instead of continuing down the right path. Now, though, it felt a little like drawing poison from a wound. That telling Noctis all this was helping to purge all the worst parts of himself again from his system, trying to get him back to a better place. He might have never gotten there again but he could at least try.
Dex didn't pull away when Noctis reached up and pushed their foreheads back together. He was surprised but in a good way. This felt like more acceptance from his Omega than he'd gotten since the first time they'd had sex during their heat/rut cycle. "That's one of the nicest things you could have said to me." He found one of his hands wrapping around the back of Noctis's neck, staying there in an affectionate fashion. "I feel like having you around could help balance me out. You're so kind and nurturing." As Dex had always wanted the Omega he chose to be his mate would be. "You'll be able to show them love and compassion even in the moments when I can't."
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Date: 2026-03-21 06:46 am (UTC)No one including Dex? He looked up at his Alpha, curious. "You're very sweet but." he doesn't know if he can do it. If he should encourage Dex. "It's been impossible so long and he's. He's probably not a threat to you but." he couldn't handle another disappointment with that guy if it failed. "Killing him won't bring my dad back." he looked away, he was gone in another world for a moment then came back to Dex.
"I ask myself the same. I don't believe in the police, but I believe in you. If they catch you you'll break out again, come find me, and take your revenge." toss in a little learned helplessness in there and voila. "They didn't help me with Dad, how could they help me with you? I don't want to give them another chance to let me down." he sighed. "Plus I'd feel worse not knowing where you are. I'd never believe you were really gone. But these are all justifications to explain my gut feeling after the fact. Truth is I don't know why, but I know I won't if that's what you're worried about."
"Those are valid feelings. I understand those totally." and maybe it was for the best his parents weren't here.
"And yet I can imagine you as a baseball star already. You missed your calling." he smiled. "You would have gotten destructive in your boredom, it would have gotten bad. But think of the replay footage of all your pitches. Kids would grow up dreaming to be you."
"It must have been devastating. The one light in your life was leaving you forever." he knows how that feels. "You were powerless to change it." and Dex was not a healthy person when he was upset. "Do you want to try again?" he asked in earnest. People misstep but he sees in Dex a desire to do better. He went miles away again, that meant he was upset. Dex disappointed himself in letting Dr. Mercer down, even in memory.
Then they were having the most intimate moment they'd ever had. He felt close to him now. He felt like he knew him. More than carnally, for once. "Didn't say it to be nice... and I think you're right. You need someone with empathy to be the face of the family. Kids need an empathetic mother, especially if they are psychopaths." Noct felt calm. It should bother him but his future was taking shape. A possible path forward was appearing out of the fog.
"I like this Dex a lot more than the facade. I like seeing the real you and being honest... will you show me this side more often?"
no subject
Date: 2026-03-21 10:19 am (UTC)"It's reassuring to know that." Both that Noctis wouldn't turn him in and also that he was well aware of what Dex was capable of when push came to shove. If Noctis betrayed him, he'd come back eventually. Maybe not right away but soon enough he'd back and twice as angry as before. All of his softness and the kind little gestures he did would be burnt out of him, leaving only his desire to control Noctis left inside.
Dex shrugged, wondering for the thousandth time if becoming a professional baseball player wouldn't have been a better road to go down. "In another life maybe. But hindsight is twenty-twenty." He could only deal with the one he was living right now.
"I...." Dex hesitated. Not because he didn't know the answer but because he didn't want to dare hope again only to be disappointed. "....I do." If he was given half a chance again, he'd take it if it allowed him to become a better person again. Unfortunately, it seemed that so often those chances were given to everyone else but him. "But every time I've tried, it doesn't work out." That was partially an excuse borne of fear but it also held a ring of truth to it.
"I've seen the way you are around kids. You're kind and patient with them. And I know you love being around babies too." He'd stalked Noctis more than enough times to see how he lit up whenever anything involving babies or children was involved. "I couldn't imagine anyone better as the mother of my children."
Dex looked a little uncomfortable, his eyes flitting first downwards and then off to the side. "I don't like showing it often in public. It tends to freak people out." Dex at his core had a completely different emotional makeup than than 99% of the population and knows from long experience that being 'other' was a good way to get shunned by the rest of society. It was why he'd perfected his 'perfect Alpha' persona a long time ago and had never let the facade crack until Fisk got a hold of him. He'd gotten back in the habit of using again once he'd become obsessed with Noctis and wanted to appear presentable with him when they were together in public. "But if it's just the two of us..." He trailed off, thinking for a moment. He'd told Noctis a lot, more than he has anyone willingly in decades. But he hadn't rejected him for it, run away, or told him to get out. He'd sat there, listened, and even been sympathetic towards the things that Dex had been through. "....I'll try." He finally finished.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-21 11:26 am (UTC)"I bet it is. Were you worried about it all this time? You couldn't have been that worried. You still come around." that anxiety is why he can't be a criminal.
"You'd have been surrounded by bad people who wanted to use you. Being rich doesn't make that better."
"...I'm glad. I think you can do it, if you have help. I'm not really qualified, I'm not a doctor but I can be honest with you like this." and hopefully that is enough. "You got screwed over by life but it doesn't have to be the end. You're smart Dex, you're capable. It doesn't have to be like this forever."
"Oh." he blushed and looked away. Children and animals, he got embarrassed anytime someone noticed he loved both. Enough so he didn't quite notice Dex admitted to following him. He ought to be annoyed by the reminder but it didn't matter. He can't help but smile when children come up. "I can think of plenty who would be better suited to motherhood. I'm not saying that as a way to make you leave me for someone else." none of them could handle the psychopathy. They would cave to it like terrified children or they would call the cops immediately.
"I understand. I don't mean in public, I mean with me." wasn't that obvious? He knew Dex couldn't give up his facade when they went outside of this place. He was lucky to see it dropped here just between them. He sensed he was in a dangerous position. Dex let him into his inner sanctum of sorts and that meant he could really fuck up if he made Dex feel rejected. Yet he still felt calm and happy from getting to know him better.
"Thank you, Dex." he smiled. "For trying." he felt sticky.
"I need a shower. And I want a nap... you wanna come?" may as well invite him, he didn't think Dex was going to let him go alone.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-22 08:45 am (UTC)"Just keep doing what you have been. Be a good example for me and it'll help keep me from going off the rails." Though given Dex had been regularly breaking into Noctis's apartment and raping him due to his obsession, he'd gone far off the rails already. But perhaps with time he could recalibrate and correct that behavior as well.
He thought that Noctis looked especially cute blushing like that as Dex pointed out his love of children and animals. That nurturing side was going to be a big advantage when it came to parenting their kids, especially if any of them turned out to have the same diagnosis as Dex did.
"Just with you, I think I can do this. Be myself and let you see some of the parts I don't let anyone else ever look at." Mostly because Dex was afraid that anyone who saw the real version of himself would freak out, reject him, or just leave. For the most part, his worst fears had been proven right time and again whenever anyone saw past his 'perfect Alpha' facade to what lay beneath the surface. Something there was dark, destructive, and monstrous, which meant most people instinctively recoiled away from getting that good of a look. He kissed Noctis softly. "You're welcome."
Then he pulled back and nodded, a soft smile coming over his face that almost reached his eyes. "I'd like both of those. I need to get clean and rest too." If he had sex with Noctis in the shower, well, his mate was already used to that sort of behavior from him by now.